I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
