Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
