Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
