I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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