Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
