side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
