Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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