Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Someone came in the potted fern
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
