I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
