tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize