What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
