I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Never joke about your clitoris.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
