The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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