a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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