Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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