She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
