My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
