Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
