We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
