Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
