The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
