we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
