She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
