Ambien. No doubt about it.
kristin has been a bad kristin
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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