Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
