I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
