it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Let's get the cat blown out
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
