I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have post one night stand depression
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