i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
