Quick, to the slutcave!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
