her facebook's as public as her vagina
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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