at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Houston, we have a squirter
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
