So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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