i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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