why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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