I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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