Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
