Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
