Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
