just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
