I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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