Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
