he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we made out on top of his cat.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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