When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
