so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It's just like the Real World with babies
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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