Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
