the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
