I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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