My nipple is on Facebook.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
