When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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