p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
