I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
