Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
