can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
