I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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