he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
