He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
