It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
