I wannas sexs uuuuu
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
