Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
