He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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