I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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